February 2012
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Adventures in Networking
Me: Hey, great set tonight!
Mandolin player: Thanks!
My bandmate: Yeah, nice work.
Mando: Hey, aren't we playing a show with you guys pretty soon?
Me: No?
Bandmate: I don't think so...
Mando: Some benefit...I was sure...
Bandmate: We don't have any shows booked right now.
Me: (Teasing) Hmm, what band do you think we are?
Mando: (Laughs) I know what band you guys are! I must just be confused.
(Walks away)
Me: Notice he did not say what band we are.
Bandmate: Yep. He has no idea.
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Clever Wordsmiths
(To my friend Brigid, who once said that Dan O'Brien has the "thighs of a nerdy Casanova.")
Me: Complete this sentence: "Robert Downey Jr. has the eyelashes of a __________."
Brigid: Beautiful gypsy sex-fiend.
Me: That's perfect. How do you do that?
Brigid: My loins are clever wordsmiths.
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And now, Jokes That Only Work With The Right...
Q: Why is the fear of fear itself like an Irish Theme Pub?
A: One’s a faux bar for beer, the other’s phobophobia
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Reasons to be careful when joking around at work
Boss: Well, aren't you a smartypants?
Me: Yeah, it's just the pants though.
Boss: Oh really?
Me: Yup. When I take them off, I get really stupid.
Boss: ...
Coworkers: (Attempt to stifle laughter)
Me: (Slowly turn red and pretend that didn't just happen).
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fishingboatproceeds:
wilwheaton:
Just so I’m clear: Misogyny in advertising on TV is totally okay. Violence on TV is totally okay. Encouraging people to self-diagnose mental illness on TV is totally okay.
Flipping the bird on TV, though, is totally not okay.
Is that pretty much it?
Okay, that’s what I thought. So, allow me to just say something real quick here, okay?
For fuck’s sake,...
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Texting with my brother, who is in New York
Me: I'm at AFK Tavern with Dikla and Molly Lewis is here. Trying to be cool.
Him: I just complimented David Byrne.
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cindry:
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January 2012
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Little known fact...
sarahdaly42:
A ‘cumberbatch’ is actually the collective term for a group of cucumbers.
Oh, how I want this to be true.
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Why the friendzone is bullshit and self-proclaimed...
coreymarie:
angels-and-angles:
As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…
“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”
and ”The perennial location of nice guys...
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“Make good stuff, then make it easy for people to buy it. There’s your...”
– Jonathan Coulton is wise.
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/2012/01/21/megaupload/ (via neil-gaiman)
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“There are British people who are cool, hard as it is to believe, and then there...”
– Stephen Fry, interviewed by Craig Ferguson.
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“I have very few concrete rules for the music in this bar, but I think...”
– My favorite bartender.
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Him: By the way, I hate Mumford & Sons.
Me: What, no!
Him: I listened to the song you played me, and I was like, "This is pretty good," and then I listened to the rest of the record, and I was like, "I HATE this."
Me: That is extremely disappointing.
Him: So my official statement is now that I like Mumford & Sons, but with the asterisk of "only when you play them on ukulele sitting on my couch."
Me: Fair enough.
Him: It is a pretty big asterisk.
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PLEASE PREPARE FOR SLIGHTLY DRUNK BLOGGING FROM MY...
I spent three and a half hours at the bar: drinking, working, and getting a lot done, and as soon as I decided that I was done working, my brain went “HAY LOOK ALCOHOLS.”
Someone get me away from this adorable bartender before I make a bad decision or two.
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Etta James, “Got My Mojo...
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