Edit That Shit.

I hope no one, including (but not limited to) John Green, will hate me for sharing a post from John’s password-protected Tumblr, OnlyIfYouFinishedTFiOS.tumblr.com. It’s just that I think The Turnip Guy needs to be A Thing.

I’m envisioning a carved turnip head in one of those color pies (eg Art School Owl) with misheard quotes from TFiOS. Someone else will have to spearhead that, however; one John Green meme Tumblr is enough for me, thank you.

It’s a reasonable albeit cheesy slogan for a cancer support group, but I’m having a hard time seeing how “Living your best life today” applies to office supplies.

I’m writing a fan sequel right now that follows Patrick’s journey to become the successful marketing director of a company that makes dry erase boards.

Okay so look, I’m 17-years-old, and you’re the last best thing I’ve got going. But then the special secret sickness starts to eat through you - what am I supposed to do?

“

—	“Dance Music,” by John Darnielle, who is apparently a time traveler and so was able to read TFiOS before writing this song.

The Fault In Our Pants

My librarian sister: Posting on Twitter lines from a book you plan to recommend extensively is perhaps not the wisest idea.
Me: Crap, did I? What did I post?
MLS: The "skin feeling more like skin" bit. 
Me: Oh, well. That's in chapter two. Not exactly a spoiler, plus it was in the live readings he posted. But if it impaired your enjoyment of the book, then I am sorry.
MLS: It just throws off your reading rhythm to encounter a line that has completely separate associations, especially in a book like this where language is such a key feature in both the author's creation of the world and the voices of the characters.
Me: True. I experienced that myself, unfortunately, because John included some lines in his book that had been referenced in the vlog previously. But man, how about that line? Having a voice that made my skin feel more like skin? Ugh, that man. Were he unwed, I would take him in an unladylike fashion.
MLS: Actually, that line does not exactly resonate with me.
Me: Really? Oh my god, it totally resonated for me. It resonated IN MY PANTS.
MLS: Exactly where it should.

This is the first The Fault in Our Stars fanart I have seen, and it’s adorable and wonderful and perfect. By siminiblocker.

These are my friends Mo and Dana, whom I convinced to attend the Tour de Nerdfighting show with me. Dana had never seen a VlogBrothers video, read any of John’s books, or heard Hank’s music. Mo was a “lapsed nerdfighter” in her own words: she used to watch the videos, but got distracted by life and stopped. When the show was over and we settled in to wait for our spots in the signing line, surrounded by hundreds of people laughing and talking and playing music, they both immediately started reading their copies of The Fault In Our Stars.

This moment just made the night for me.

At the University Bookstore tonight for a signing of Death’s Heretic, a Pathfinder Tales novel written by my friend and colleague James L. Sutter. On our way out, I noticed the TFiOS display and had to get a picture.

As far as fiction goes, these two books are about as different as you can get.

ETA: No Hanklerfish or Yetis. Mostly teal signatures, with one green, if any Seattle Nerdfighters are looking for specific colors. I am so helpful!

INCREDIBLY NERDY MOMENT OF THE DAY:

I decided it would be hilarious to create a Tumblr called “DudesWhoLikeJohnGreen,” and just reblog photos from TFiOSHomes that were taken by guys. I even went so far as to scroll through a few pages of TFiOSHomes and open the dudes in new tabs, but then I started to feel bad about encouraging the gender binary, so I ditched the idea.

Seriously, though: The ladies love John Green.

Yeah, I am a photobooth nerd. Also a John Green nerd.

Confession Time: When I picked up the book and opened it, I touched the signed page and my heart fluttered a little. NERD CRUSH.

On the day that my copy of The Fault in Our Stars came home to stay, I found myself at a bar with a photobooth. Clearly, there only was one choice.

I got a green J-scribble. I was hoping for one of the gimpy left-handed scribbles or a Hanklerfish, but I didn’t cheat and check every copy the bookstore had. I went the fortune cookie route and took the one behind my counter with my name on it, because that’s the one I was meant to have.